herlifestory

2005-04-24T03:47:00.000-07:00

"Happy Endings"

Time does tell
That even if they say so
She'd be the one that would know
That I did do what I've done
And I, I wouldn't call it cheating
I'd just say I was leading her on
Why walk while I run a-way

You- you ask me what went wrong
Me- i'll write you this last song
Please- just tell me one way we can win
One- more thing before I go
Two- the one who loves me so
Three- don't make me count to three again

Happy endings
Just what did you do, If you're a dream then come true
Stop pretending
That what you mean isn't what you say
Hopeful dreaming,
Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same
Loving, leaving
Round and round and round we go again

Walks a-lone, have often lead to thinking
My love for you is sinking to what seems an all time low
or high, the limits' never ending,
And don't you know I'm sending
There's no venture I won't go
For you

She walks away, she talks away
She walks away
She walks away, she talks away
Away, away...

i like this song from the all-american rejects.its nice.faezah influence me.hahas.

thanks mandy.

2005-03-04T20:14:00.000-08:00

hmm. today in skol i was feeling a not too well.
was also feeling down.
didn't know why.
probably because im broke for this week.
used up all my money.
argh.
i hate being broke.
hmm.
anyway, amanda is such a sweet girl.
she bought me food today during recess.
she knew i had no money so she decide to treat me.
how sweet is tt.
i seriously didn't want her to treat me but she insisted.
i felt bad towards her.
using her phone all the time and now she's paying for my food.
people would think tt im bullying her.
argh.
well im grateful to have a friend like her.
thanks amanda.
thanks alot mandy.
get well soon kaes.
take care.

`i feel so thankful to have a friend like you.

clara bought me fries.

2005-02-15T19:59:00.000-08:00

well. i want to show my appreciation towards clara ho bought fries for me today.
i promised her tt i would write all abt it in my blog today.
so here it goes...

clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.
clara bought me fries today.

valentine's day

2005-02-14T22:05:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!

well. since today is valentine's day, obviously i had a great time with my darling tauhid.
he's super sweet to me.
i love him so much.
after skol i went home and change.
met darling at jp.
gave him chocolates as v.day prezzie.
wanted to watch movie.
went to b.b but there was alot of peeps.
decide to go to jurong east.
had time to kill before watching movie.
went to eat.
darling bought for me lollipops, merci chocolate and sweets.
went back to buy ticket.
the queue was very long.
hmm. decide not to watch. hmm.
went home.
had a wonderful time with my sweetheart.
i love him.

`you stole my heart.

out with my darling.

2005-02-09T14:00:00.000-08:00

happy. happy.
went out with my darling yesterday. hahas.
he's he sweetest guy ever.
i love him so much.
hahas.
love love.
my darling.
iloveyou.
muacks.enjoyed yesterday so much.
thanks for everything my darling.
iloveyou.
iloveyou.

missingyou.
missingyou.

change.

2005-02-05T21:23:00.000-08:00

hey peeps. hmm.
changed my blogskin.
hmm. nice?
hahhas.
yeah.
well.
bored.

take care.
outs.

tau~ayang's first day of skol.

2005-01-24T22:28:00.000-08:00

hmm. today is ayang's first day he's taking his lessons at his private centre. hmm. feel so proud of him that he's willing to continue his studies instead being typical mats who hangs around all day doing nothing but disturb girls. hmm. thank god he's not like that. he had his first english lesson just now. hmm. he ended skol at 10 plus. asked him to pick me up from skol since he's so free. hmm. he came earlier than expected and we went to my hse. he waited for me to bath and change and then we were off. hmm. didn't know where to go so decide to just laze around jurong. sat and talked and ehem. was fun. tau~ayang is so god damn cute and sweet. argh. i can't resist him. he's a candy to my eyes. go gaga over him. argh.
anw, on the way back, he suddenly started finding faults with me. i counldn't figure out why. he started to get very pissed off. he said something tt he shouldn't coz it totally hurt my feelings. i still can't get ti out of my mind. he sent me home and was very sorry abt what had happened just now.

but what he said to me just now will always remain in my mind. i'll never forget it. never. it crushed my heart.

2005-01-22T15:41:00.000-08:00

sorry peeps haven't been updating coz i've been busy.
busy with stuff. hmm. ehem.
ahahahas.
well i'll try to update more frequently k.
ok. got to go now. meeting my darling tau~ayang. hmm.

love love tau~ayang many many.

miss tau~ayang many many.

muacks.

went out with tau~ayang.

2005-01-14T22:50:00.000-08:00

well today, met my darling tau~ayang.
met him after he finished work.
he's so cute.
love him.
hahas.
can't resist the sight of him.
took a walk around jurong.
sat down and talked.
we started to argue, and he was so god damn pissed with me.
he was so furious.
i didn't know what to do.
he was shouting and all.
was so scared.
but i know tt he's like tt coz he cared for me.
after a while, he cooled down.
he started to apologized to me.
he got down to his knees and told me tt he didn't meant to scold me but its just tt he can't control himself.
he's so sweet.
we made up and he sent me home.
i love him.
man i miss him already.
its been 30 minutes since i saw him.
argh.
can't stand it.
missing him badly.

love ma darling.

2005-01-13T16:25:00.000-08:00

i love tauhid so much.
no words can describe how much i love him.
my heart beats only for him.
i love him.
although we've only been together for three months, but it feels like as though we have been together our whole life.
he always tries to pick me up for skol whenever he can or whenever i ask him to.
like which guy would do that.
hahas.
none of my previous ex-boyfren has ever treated me the way he treat me.
love him so much.

i'll never leave you ma darling.

you'll always have a special place in my heart.

our third month anniversery

2005-01-11T23:16:00.000-08:00

happy third month my darling tauhid.

love love.
i love ma darling tauhid so much.
he's like the sweetest guy alive.
hahas.
aahahahahaha..
i love him so much.
i can't put to words how much he meant to me.
no matter what he did to me, i'll still love him.
for all the arguments we had, its all because he loves me.
he always does things that will benefit me.
i love him with all my heart.
love love.

today is our third month together.
wow.
he's my one and only darling.
he nvr fail to make me laugh, smile and melt.
the sight of him is enough to make me go weak in the knees.
he's my everything and he's always there for me.
he's not like other guys who treats their girlfren like a sex machine.
i love him.
although he looks tough and fierce on the outside, but actually if you were to know him better, you'll actually see the soft side of him.
he's like a durian. hard on the outside but soft on the inside.
i love him many many.
hahas.
he's my life. my one and only soul mate.
he forgave all my past mistake and accept me for who i am.
he nvr fail to send me home whenever we met.
nvr fail to give me a heart melting kiss.
nvr fail to give me whatever i want, whatever tt i ask for.
although he's not perfect, in my eyes he's just what i've always wanted in a guy.
he tries to be a better man for me and also tries to make me a better person.
i love him for who he is.
he's always there to catch me whenever i fall.
i heart him.
i love him.
he's my soul.
love him many many.

i love my darling tau~ayang many many.

saturday my day off.

2005-01-07T19:53:00.000-08:00

yeah the weekends is here.
no skol. yippie.
hmm. anw gonna stay home the whole day.
coz my darling is working today.
so hardworking.
so sweet.
i love him.
went out with him yesterday.
such a sweet guy.
went to meet his frens.
den he played soccer while i sat there and watched.
so funny.
hahas.
hmm. then lek2 jap at his fren's hse.
hmm.

skol sucks.

2005-01-05T18:15:00.000-08:00

yeah skol sucks.
like totally.
the skol force me to drop core geog.
what the hell.
i love core geog. especially if mr sng;s teaching. hahas.
but they had to make me drop it.
i can't even take elective geog.
hahas. they say that i can use the time to focus on elective lit.
what the hell.
i don't quite like lit.
argh. damn skol.
so today i had like 2 hr plus of free time.
slept all the way. boring.
hahas.

anw, i'll probably won't update for quite sometime coz my mom's crazy.
she's hates me using the computer.
hahas. crazy.
she'll probably lock her room which this com is in or do something to the com.
so yeah.
till the next time i blog k.

b0oks.. argh. and my darling.

2005-01-04T21:42:00.000-08:00

just got home.
feeling tired.
went to buy books at jurong east popular.
was so crowded. argh.
went with tauhid.
was late to meet him coz went to meet my sis first.
hahas. love him so much.
it was cold and i was wearing my white jacket and coicendentally he was also wearing white.
hahas. so cute. matching. hahas.
after buying books, we went to lek2 for awhile.
sat, talked and laughed.
he's so funny. hahas.
love him so much. hahas.

already missing him.
i want to meet up with him soon.
i miss his so much.

first day at skol.

2005-01-03T19:39:00.000-08:00

hmm. well as you all know.
today is the first day of skol.
hmm. got confused.
didn't know what class im suppose to be in.
hahas. got lost. hmm. anw my class is 4mm.
hmm. have to get used to writing it.
well. skol was ok. made some new frens.
still a loner. very quite in class.
still don't know what subjects im actually taking.
hahas. still haven't bought any books yet.
hmm. got no booklist ar.
so leceh. hahas.

wanted tauhid to pick me up from skol today.
but he had all kinds of reasons.
but actually he did not have any bus fare.
hahahs. so cute.
was quite pissed off with him abt that. but nvm.
i still love him. my darling tauhid.

tired. sleepy.

2005-01-02T18:45:00.000-08:00

hahas.
yesterday was ok.
had fun at my uncle's hse. hmm.
didn't actually do anything there coz i am so NOT into karaoke-ing.
hahas. i can't sing.
hahas. hmm. ok.
watched the cd 'kungfu hustle'
hahas. it was so funny.
funny. funny. funny.
hmm.
den when to the karaoke room and just sat there watching all my uncles, aunties. grans and cousins sing.
hahas. so of them had awful voices but still they tried their best to sing for the sake of singing.
hahahas. i admire them. atleast they have the guts to sing.
unlike me, hahas.
ok enough.
hmm. after that watched shutter.
hahas. everyone was screamming.
hahas.
funny sight.
even the guys were scared. especially haziq. hahas.
hmm. got home around 2 plus. hahas.
went straight to bed.

hmm. woke up today feeling tired and sleepy. hmm.
woke up around 12plus.
called my darling tauhid.
miss him.
waiting for my dad to come back from golf so that he could bring us go watch soccer.
but i doubt that he will.
hmm. nvm.
really wanted to go.
coz all of my uncles, aunties and cousins are going.
hmm.
nvm.

happy new year. yeah rite. hahas.

2005-01-01T15:21:00.000-08:00

hmm.
well. happy new year to everyone.
hahas. hmm. whats the big deal with new year?
hmm. it just like any other day.
yeah. no biggies.
why is everyone so excited over it. hmm.
strange. hahahas.
well. didn't do anything much yesterday.
wanted to go for the countdown at sentosa with ma darling tauhid.
but cancelled it coz my parents wouldn't allow.
hmm. dang.
tauhid wanted to buy the tickets for us but too bad i couldn't go.
argh. really wanted to spend quality time with my darling before skol re-opens.
damn.

well. today. hmm.
did nothing much.
yeah. was at home the whole day.
going to my uncle's place later in the evening.
hmm. was suppose to be some new year celebration.
hahas. ok.
that's the only thing that i look forward to today. hahas.
hmm. my dad's crazy.
he wanted all of us, i mean the whole fam, to go and support singapore at the national stadium tmr. hahas.
hmm. i didn't know he was so into soccer.. hmm.
i thought he was only interested in golf. hahas.
strange.

i miss him. i really do. i want to meet him. i love my darling tauhid. muacks.

toddles for now.
till tmr den.
*winks*

oh happy day.

2004-12-30T23:57:00.000-08:00

yippie.
today was all fun.
love him so much. *blushing*
oh my dearest tauhid.
aaahhhhaaahhhhaahh.
he didn't cancel our date today.
*humming*
but he was late.
argh.
nvm. atleast he turned up.
hahahas.
happy.happy.happy.
went to meet his fren first coz he wanted to pass something.
when his fren saw me, he said confidently to tauhid tt he's sure tt im only 13.
what tt fuck.
13?? hahas.
tauhid was quite piss and told him tt im not 13 but 16.
hahas. his fren was shocked. hahas. wth. stupo.
after tt, didn't know where to go.
was suppose to watch movie but he didn't have enough cash.
but nvm. can still do other stuff.
he suggested tt we go play pool at west coast.
i didn't want to coz i wasn't a good player.
hmm. but nvm. since he wanted to play pool so badly and tt we didn't have any place in mind to go, might as well just play pool.
when we entered the place, as usual, we would see which table we wanted.
but as i was looking, the auntie at the counter called me and asked me for my ic.
wth. another stupo. she thought i was underaged.
when she saw my ezlink, she was shocked and apologized.
hahas. tauhid was laughing at the incident.
so mean.
surprisingly, i was quite good at pool today.
hmm. of course with tauhid's help.
while playing, some of his frens too came to play pool there.
was surprise. but it was good coz he have not met them for awhile.
shafiq was there too with his cousin.
hahahas.
he kept asking me to ask for this girl's no.
in the end i didn't. hahas. serve him right. gatal.
anw, had to go home coz i had to go to my grans' place later.
hmm. tauhid sent me home like he always does.
he asked me to keep his money for him coz he's always spending it unneccessarily.
ouh. love him so much. really do.
argh. missing him already.
can't wait to meet up with him again.
probably tmr.

i love tauhid.i love tauhid.i love tauhid.

heartbreak.

2004-12-29T16:46:00.000-08:00

roar. argh.
bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.
super damn bored.
been staying at home for the past two days.
was practically dying from boredom.
argh.
was looking forward to today.
i was suppose to go on a date with my darling tauhid.
but he was too tired to go out with me.
argh.
he apologized and asked me if we could change the day to tmr.
i was so pissed with him.
argh.
but nvm. expected it.
he's always like tt.
hmm.
just accept him the way he is.
hmm.
tmr.
looking forward to tmr.
if he cancel our date tmr, he's gonna get it.
i swear tt he's gonna get it big time.
argh.
so lets just pray tt everything will go well tmr.
tmr.

piSSed 0ff.

2004-12-27T15:48:00.000-08:00

argh.
fucking fuck.
im so freaking pissed off with tauhid.
argh!
why can't guys just understanding what we want?
they are a bunch of freaking loser tt only think with their freaking penies.
their frens are more important to them than their girl.
argh!
if tts the case, why bother to have a girlfren then?
argh!!
i hate his frens.
i hate his frens.
i hate his frens.
im so fcuking jealous of his frens.
argh.
if i can, i would make him into a tiny lil toy tt could fit in my pocket and make sure tt he's right beside me all the time.
argh.
i want him to be with me all the time.
is it too demanding?
nah i don't think so.

i want to meet up with him today coz its been quite sometime since we met.
but he had to go and meet his frens.
he crushed my heart just like tt.
argh.
can't i just meet him and not do anything?
am i important to him?
noo.. i don't think so.
his frens are more important.
his frens can give him pleasure.
he can jolly well make out with his darn frens.
he can hold their freaking hands.
he can send them home.
he can love them.
his frens can satisfy his needs.
he can do watever he wants to them.
his frens can give his everything tt i give him.
he can fcuking hell be a gay boy and fcuk his frens thru the arse.
argh.
am i mean.
no. i don't think so.
i such a nice girl.
i am a nice girl.

all i ask for is too spend some time together.
sitting, talking,
gazing into each others eyes.
laugh at jokes. hugging.
kissing. walking.
tts all.
is it too much to ask for?
argh.

an outing with ma parents again.

2004-12-27T13:10:00.000-08:00

hahas.
thought tt we would just stay home today. but i was wrong. hahas.
woke up bathe, ate and help ma mom cook.
watched La Bamba with ma dad.
after tt we went out.
ma mom wanted to go to this factory sale.
took the car and bought lots of pillows and bedsets.
hahas. after tt since we did not have anywhere to go, decide to drop by my uncle's place.
i wanted to borrow some dvds and ma dad, sis and mom wanted to karaoke.
haahahs.
before tt we went to pioneer mall first.
walked around giant and den procceed to ma uncle's hse.
was fun. ate alot.
just watched tv coz i don't like singing.
hahas.
after tt went home and watched White Chicks and Six Weeks.
went to bed after tt. was tired.
hahas.

today, im thinking of going out.
but ma maid and sis have still not yet return from batam.
hahas.
argh.
want to meet up with tauhid.
miss him.
can't wait till wednesday.
hahas. i miss him.
really do miss him.
hmm.
so where should we go today. hmm.
i love you tauhid.
*muacks*

outing with ma parents.

2004-12-26T20:34:00.000-08:00

hahas.
thought tt it would be boring.
but instead.
yesterday only me, ma sis and ma parents went out.
coz ma younger sis and ma maid had went to batam.
ma mom wanted to go geylang.
argh. wad a drag.
hahas.
but first ma dad wanted to go to katong mall.
didn't know tt such place exsisted.
hahas.
hmm. went there by bus as we didn't have a car.
waited for ma dad's fren for quite sometime.
bought loads of junk food while waiting.
hahas.
but the surprise was tt ma dad actually went there for his new car.
he had just bought a car.
wow.
finally.
i hate travelling on public transport with ma fam.
haahas.
so took our new car and went to geylang.
walked around, ate and went home.
reached home and watched Puteri Gunung Ledang and Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam.
was damn scary at first.
ma dad was trying to scare us.
hahas. so mean.
couldn't sleep tt nite. was scared. kept thinking.
hahas.

piSSed 0ff.

2004-12-26T15:48:00.000-08:00

outing with ma pri. skol frens.

2004-12-25T20:04:00.000-08:00

hmm. went out with ma pri. skol fren yesterday.
noraini, sha, ika, ain, khairul, rashid, fahmy and ashraf.
was ok.
had fun.
was suppose to meet em' at 2 at boon lay interchange.
but had some problems with tauhid so told em' tt i'll meet at town.
went out with ma sis to meet abg naz.
went to abg naz nye umah, waited for him to change.
kept on persuading tauhid to come along but he came up with tons of excuses.
was damn pissed off with him.
why can't he just do something for me?
hmm. its always his frens tt are more important.
i have to admit tt im jealous of his frens.
especially haikal.
argh. they are always together.
damn. damn. damn.
im JEALOUS of HAIKAL.
argh.
ok anw, went to town without tauhid.
was supposed to watch a movie with em' but didn't for some reason.
den went to far east to meet ma darling paula.
she was with her mom and cousins watching the performance.
after tt we went to look for her boy, izat.
had an encounter with a girl for our skol.
was bad.
paula's cousin blew up the thing and was trying to pick a fight.
paula didn't want to get involved so she left first.
i didn't see the need to fight.
wad a stupid thing to do.
argh. nvm they ar still young. nak tunjuk terror je.
stupo.
so i had to clean up the mess.
after everything had settle, went to meet ma pri. skol frens at KFC to eat.
finished eating and headed home.
stopped by jurong point.
walked around and the took lots of pics.
hahas.
was crazy.
haha.
anw went home, had to wait for ma sis as we told ma parents tt went are going out together.
hahas.
waited quite long for her.
damn.
but nvm. she's still ma sis.

had total fun.
hope to go out soon with em' again.
probably next fri. before skol re opens.
and.. tauhid promised me tt we are going to watch movie this wed. haahs.
happy happy happy.
can't wait. love him.

outing with ma darlings.

2004-12-20T08:03:00.000-08:00

wow. yesterday was great.
wes super bored so decided to ask paula out.
hmm. well went to her house.
couldn't find any proper jeans to wear coz all of my jeans are being washed.
the only jeans tt i had was this old tappered jeans.
didn't want to wear it but had no choice.
was so malu-ated.
took bus instead of the train although i was late.
hmm. although it was a loong bus journey but nvm.
atleast nobody really notice my jeans when im sitting rite. hahas.
reached paula's house. asked her if she could spare me a jeans.
thank god im about her size.
hahas. good2.
called up izan and asked her to join us at town.
so she said tt she would be meeting us in town later coz she had something on.
well me and paula took the bus to far east and went to eat.
or rather paula went to eat.
yups.
walked around far east for a while.
then met izan.
she brought along her two cousins. rin and syiqa.
hmm. walked to heeren.
took neoprints.
had a blast.
but rin wasn't feeling well.
so we all headed home.
but it was all worth it.
haven't met izan since skol closed.
yesterday was like the old times.
where me, paula and izan would hang around after skol or skip skol and just hang out.
hahas.missed the old times.
next year would nvr be the same like last year coz we are all going different ways.
izan would be taking her 0s.
i'll be taking my N.
and paula would still be enjoying life in sec three.
hmm. then izan would leave us.
i'll have another year to go and paula would have another two.
hmm.
will miss all of them.
but will try to keep in contact with them.

to paula: girl. sorry ar. kalau aku kutuk boy kau. you noe tt i don't mean wad i say. sorry. you noe me rite. sorry k girl. don't take it to hard. was just a joke. sorry. anw thanks for everything k. take care. love you ma darling.
to izan: woit. its great meeting up ewith you again. had fun with all of you. too bad we won't be together next year. but its ok. you noe where to find me. we'll still pon skol together rite. hahas. miss you.
to rin: hahas. hmm. ok tk? hahas. good luck for next year. still gonna pon skol with us rite even though you are going to ite. we'll have fun just like before. hahas.
to syiqa: hmm ok. i don't quite know you but pls speak up. dun be too quiet. i can't take it. im used to noise. hahas. ok shall go out together again k. don't worry. i won't rape you or do anything indecent towards you. hahas.

memories.

2004-12-17T19:03:00.000-08:00

nari adik gi library sorang2. takde org nk teman adik. hmm. takpe. adik tak kisah. dah biasa kesorangan. nari tauhid gi ambil result dia kat skol. adik ingatkn leh terserempak ngan dia. tapi tak. hmm. takpe ar. dia kene ada kat skol kul 2.30pm. hmm. i miss him. rindu sey ngan tauhid. aku nak tauhid. hmm. so adik went to the library alone.antar buku lepas tu borrow another one. hmm. takde bende nak buat lepas tu so ingatkan nak nak jln2 sorang2. nak visit tempat2 adik pernah gi ngan tauhid. refresh memories g2. adik jln2 and ended up kat depan boon lay sec. i knew tt he was inside., waiting for his rsult. dia abis dlm kul 3.30pm g2. so adik takut dia marah kalau nmpk adik kat luar skolah, so adik went back to jp. jln2 sekali terserempak ngan mukmin (member tauhid) and his frens. dia tanya adik nak gi ane. adik ckp adik tak tau, takde arah tujuan. jln2 je. dia kesiankan adik. dia suruh adik ikut dia gi jmpe tauhid tapi adik tknk. adik takut tauhid marah. mukmin kata takpe ar, boleh kasi tauhid surprise. hahas. mukmin tak tau tt tauhid mintak break ngan adik. adik takut. mesti tauhid marah kalau jmpe adik. dia kata dia tak nak jmpe adik lagi. hmm. adik nak tauhid. so adik jln2 lagi. hujan lebat. adik duduk kejap kat interchange. nampak tauhid! argh! wow! he's still wearing the ring!! he still is! yippie! hmm. it means tt he still loves me. yipie. takpe. he'll come back to me. i know he will. so i followed him to the mrt station. dia gi jumpe afiq. nak gi keje. tapi dah kul brape sey. hmm. his work starts at 5 and he's still there at 5. hmm. maybe dia dah bilang org dia. hmm.

i love him. i love tauhid. i want him back. i really do. i'll do anything to have him back. i do. pls give him back to me.

sob a heartbreaking decision. sob

2004-12-16T00:23:00.000-08:00

*sob sob* tauhid mintak BREAK! *crying my heart out* NO! NO! its not happening! *shouting out loud*
adik tk leh buat ape2 lagi. *sob* why?? adik nk tauhid. adik nk tauhid. adik sayang tauhid. adik sayang tauhid! *sob* adik nk tauhid alik. kenape dia dah tknk adik lagi? nape? adik nk tauhid. kasi adik tauhid! adik nk dia. adik syg dia. adik tau dia pun syg adik. dia syg adik! adik nk dia. nk tauhid. nk dia. syg tauhid. *sob* syg tauhid. adik nk tauhid. tauhid syg adik. tkpe nanti tauhid dah cool down, dia dtg alik kat adik. nanti tauhid mintak maaf kat adik. lepas tu kita jadi mcm dulu. syg menyayangi satu sama lain. *sob* dia buat ni semua kerana dia syg adik. adik tau. dia terlalu menyayangi adik. dia tk akan lepaskn adik. dia tk akan. tauhid syg adik. dia syg adik. dia syg adik! dia akan memaafkn kesalahan adik. adik pasti. tauhid tk akan lepaskn adik. dia tk akan kerana dia sygkn adik. adik pun sygkn dia. adik syg tauhid. tauhid marah adik kerana adik buat keje bodoh. *sob* adik ni memang bodoh. adik bodoh! bodoh! tauhid, adik mintak maaf. adik sygkn tauhid. sayang sgt kat tauhid.

i am not in self denial. i know it! he'll come back to me. i know it. i know he will. he always does.
i am not in self denial. i am not. i know tt he still loves me. he'll call me soon. he will. i know he will.

argh. its my life.

2004-12-13T23:55:00.000-08:00

semua org tolong diam. bising aje tahu. org nye suka lah nak buat pe. ini diri kite. kite tau la mcm mane nak jaga diri sendiri. kite bukannye dibernarkan membuat sesuka hati kite. DIAM! DIAM! tolong diam. aku nk hidup aku sendiri. aku nk jadi org yg memopunyai hidup sendiri. bukan hidup yg diuruskan oleh kamu. aku mahu bebas. aku tidak mahu lagi dikongkong. DIAM! jgn bilang aku bagaimana aku harus mengurus hidupku. aku peh suka ar. argh! DIAM! tutup mulut kau. aku bukan mainan kau. aku adalah aku!

our anniversery.

2004-12-11T22:11:00.000-08:00

yippie! hahas. its our 2nd month anniversery today. hahas. im so happy. hahas. ok stop it. hmm. hahas. *ginning from ear to ear*
kuar ngan tauhid today g town. met him at 2 plus at clementi. janji kul 1.45pm. i was running late so decided to take the cab. but it turned out tt he was even later. was so pissed off. argh. but wat to do. just have to accept him as he is. he'll change. went town via the train. onve we reached there, i told him tt i wanted to go far east but he thought tt i wanted to walked around first. hahas. we ended up sesat. hahas. so malu-ated. luckily far east wasn't tt far. we laughed the whole way to far east. reached there, withdraw money andwent to the silver shop. bought two rings for him and myself. it was a plain one which cost $15 each. wanted to engrave our names on the rings but he had to go to work. hmm. too bad. tkpe. maybe next time k.
i love you ma baby boo. i love you tauhid. happy 2nd month together. i love you. muacks.

a letter for tauhid.

2004-12-10T17:06:00.000-08:00

hmm. i was feeling down so i wrote something for my darling tauhid. hmm. but i don't think i'll post it here coz i've received comment for my frens tt its too jiwang. hahas. so as not to further embarrass myself, i rather keep the letter to myself. hahas. hmm. sorry. hahaahs.

2004-12-09T03:42:00.000-08:00

late at night
when the whole world
is sleeping.
i stay up and think of you.

and i wish upon a star ;
that where ever you're.
you are thinking of me too (:
cause im dreaming ;
of you tonight.
till tom0rrow im h0lding you
# tight in my arms..

and there's no where
in e w0rld i want be
den in my room -
dreaming of
y o u and m e
________

.i love you.

a letter to my dearest wan.

2004-12-06T21:30:00.000-08:00

kepada sayangku wan,
sayang, i btul2 sayangkn you. tetapi i tk boleh terima perangai you. i sudah berulang kali suruh you berubah dan setiap kali you memberitahu i bahawa you memerlukan masa. sudah banyak masa terbuang menunggu you berubah. tetapi i tidak pun melihat sembarang perbezaan. berapa lamakah harus i menunggu? i dah tk larat lagi layan kerenah you. i seolah2 merasa bahawa you bersama i kerana badan i. i tk merasakan sedikit pin kasih sayang daripada you. apakah harus i lakukan? i terlalu sayangkn you utk melepaskan you. tetapi i tknk terus dipergunakan. semua janji you adalah janji palsu. tidak pernah you melunaskanjanji2 you. setiap kali kita jumpe, you tk pernah bawak i ke tempat lain selain rumah you. you pun jarang sekali menghantar me pulang. adakah itu sesuatu beban bagi you? i sanggup datang ke rumah you kerana you suruh. walaupun i tk boleh kuar atau penat, i tetap akan ke rumah you. i beg you. please make an effort! for me?! i jmpe you kerana i rindukn you dan ingin menghabiskan sedikit masa ngan you. bukan kerana sebab yg lain. adakah motive you utk jmpe semata2 utk melepaskan nafsu you? i tknk perkara ini berterusan. i harap you akan berubah. i akan memberi you 2 minggu. tolonglah berubah wan. i tknk lepaskan you. jangan buat me tunggu you dengan sia2.. tolong lah. i beg you.
yours,
nisa.

2004-12-05T20:43:00.000-08:00

i love my darling very much...
i love you tauhid.

herlifestory

thanks mandy.

clara bought me fries.

valentine's day

out with my darling.

change.

tau~ayang's first day of skol.

went out with tau~ayang.

love ma darling.

our third month anniversery

saturday my day off.

skol sucks.

b0oks.. argh. and my darling.

first day at skol.

tired. sleepy.

happy new year. yeah rite. hahas.

oh happy day.

heartbreak.

piSSed 0ff.

an outing with ma parents again.

outing with ma parents.

piSSed 0ff.

outing with ma pri. skol frens.

outing with ma darlings.

memories.

*sob* a heartbreaking decision. *sob*

argh. its my life.

our anniversery.

a letter for tauhid.

a letter to my dearest wan.

sob a heartbreaking decision. sob